There is something holy about silence, something which I love and hate. I love silence because I can better see myself, and listen to God. I hate silence because I can better see myself and listen to God.
When there is silence I cannot necessarily control or predict what is going to happen, what is going to come to mind. I fear that if I listen to God too clearly, if I become too close with God, that I, too, will become like Icarus. In the silence I am better able to see myself, as I often do not like the reflection.
So I fill my space with things. I fill it with all things. Anything that will distort the reflection or drown out the still small voice of God. At some point, though, all of the fillers are unable to satisfy and the only thing left to do is accept the silence.
When I have no words, I wait.
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